Grief and Greed

 

20 November 2020

Why do I feel so sad when I remember happy times?

Gloomy thoughts -‘never again’, ‘I can never go back’

Suddenly fill my mind and soul

And instead of richness and joy, I feel only lack.

I have lived a full and eventful life

Of travel, with chances to explore

Many amazing places, and meet fascinating people

But when I remember these times, I only want more!

I often see my life as limited and short

And of my many experiences, most were brief

When I remember that ‘I was there’ and ‘I saw them then’

I find myself suddenly flooded with grief.

The grief says, ‘It was great when it happened,

But I want, need, and deserve more and more.

This endless greed is, for me, an important belief

One that resonates from deep in my core.

Why am I so overwhelmed with grief and greed

That I ignore the beauty and magic of the past?

Is there any way of convincing my inner soul

That these most magical moments need not last.

And that their briefness itself is part of the magic

That makes places, nature, and people touch my soul,

So why my need to turn my memories into pain?

I feel that I am just digging myself into a deep hole.

I would like to let my memories fill a treasure chest

That I can visit anytime, and joyfully explore

And remember those moments that are part of me

Without the need to want more and more.

For the beauty and strength of these moments

Forms a rich and treasured foundation of my life

When I view them through eyes of gratitude

I can give thanks and feel joy, and not strife.